Resources for Your Life Celebrations

In planning your Life Celebration, you will begin to refine the images and words that fit the meaning of the event for you. This section currently contains a selection of writings from a variety of sources, which can start you on your journey.

Over time, we will also be sourcing products which may play a part in life celebrations as props e.g. candles, vessels etc, or gifts for participants. These could add another dimension to your celebration. Watch this space….

Inspirational Writing

Many wonderful authors and poets have, through their writing, enhanced our ability to express our most private experiences and emotions. Once you start looking, you will find many options to use in your special life celebrations - they will be the verses that impact on you when you read them, and stay with you. Some selections follow, but you may also like to visit your local library or browse on-line on http://www.allspirit.co.uk/poetryindex.html which displays poems and spiritual writings from poets such as, Rainer Maria Rilke, Christina Rossetti, Guy Finley and Sara Teasdale. The Academy of American Poets on http://www.poets.org has a poet search facility and Poetry Magazine http://www.poetrymagazine.org has selections from featured poets as well as biographical details.

However, don't let the availability of other's works blind you to the possibility of writing your own verses or adapting existing ones. This can add a unique and very special ingredient to your personal life celebrations.

Below is a selection from various sources. They are loosely grouped in categories to make them easier for you to browse, but some can fit a range of occasions. If you have particular favourites that you would like to share with others, please send them to us and we will add them to this selection. Email to milestone@lifecelebrations.co.nz

• Honouring Love and Commitment
  
• For Thanksgiving, Welcoming and Naming Children
  
• Funerals, Partings and Grieving
  
• Honouring Individuals
  
• Poems and Blessings for Any Occasion

HONOURING LOVE AND COMMITMENT

"You were born to be together, and together you shall be for evermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness.
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love;
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of the lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together;
For the pillars of the of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow"

- From The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

I give thanks today for the gift of you in my life.
I love you today and always. I will hold you in
my heart forever. I love you ___________."

Marriage is Love
"If two people care as they share life's hopes and fears,
If the music of laughter outweighs the sadness of tears,
Then marriage is togetherness.

If both derive pleasure from the mere presence of each other,
Yet when parted feel no jealousies which worry, restrict or smother,
Then marriage is freedom.

If achievements mean more when they benefit two,
And consideration is shown with each point of view,
Then marriage is respect.

And if togetherness, freedom and respect are combined,
With a joy that words have never quite defined,
Then marriage is Love."

"Love is a temporary madness,
It erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined
Together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement,
It is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away.
And this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other Underground,
And when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches,
They find that they are one tree not two."

- From Captain Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres

"Ultimately there comes a time when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take. It is indeed a fearful gamble. Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created.

To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take. If we commit ourselves to one person for life there is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession but participation. It takes a lifetime to learn another person.
When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling."

- From The Irrational Season by Madeleine L'Engle,

The Dance

"A good relationship has a pattern like a dance, and is built on the same rules. The partners do not need to hold on tightly, because they move confidently in the same pattern, intricate but gay, and swift and free, like a country dance of Mozart's. To touch heavily would be to arrest the pattern and freeze the movement, to check the endlessly changing beauty of its unfolding. There is no place here for the possessive clutch, the clinging arm, the heavy hand; only the barest touch in passing. Now arm in arm, now face to face, now back to back - it does not matter which. Because they know they are partners moving to the same rhythm, creating a pattern together, and being invisibly nourished by it. The joy of such a pattern is not only the joy of creation or the joy of participation, it is also the joy of living in the moment. Lightness of touch and living in the moment are intertwined."

- From A Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"Out or the exuberance of creation throughout millions of years, you two have appeared … each of you unique.
Distinctive, wondrously personal.
You have chosen to journey together down this earth valley in the brief moment of time that is yours.

From this day forward, you become a unit of life that will bring forth futures.
You are both called into a new existence.
The old things have passed away; a new heaven and a new earth is now your dwelling place.
For the whole universe has come to each of you in the form of a particular person who has a unique love for you, and is beloved by you."

- By Ross Inscape

"May you listen to these words and take them as affirmations for your future, to unfold the adventure of marriage, to explore the world together, to tell the truth, to love fearlessly, to dance like there is no dreams, to meet in unconditional love, and to be a contented couple…"

- Source unknown

"I give thanks today for the gift of
you in my life. I love you this moment and always.
I will hold you in my heart forever. I love you."

Apache Wedding Prayer
"Now you will feel no rain
For each will be a shelter for the other

Now you will feel no cold
For each will be warmth for the other

Now you will feel no loneliness
For each will be companion to the other

Now you are two persons
But there are three lives before you
His life, her life and your life together

May beauty surround you both
On the journey ahead and through all the years

May happiness be your companion
To the place where the river meets the sun

Go now to your dwelling
To enter into the days of your life together

And may your days be good
And long upon the Earth."

A Lyric
"If Time and Space, as sages say,
Are things which cannot be,
The sun which does not feel decay
No greater is than we.
So why, Love, should we ever pray
To live a century?
The butterfly that lives a day
Has lived eternity.

The flowers I gave thee when the dew
Was trembling on the vine,
Were withered ere the wild bee flew
To suck the eglantine,
So let us haste to pluck anew
Nor mourn to see them pine,
And though our days of love be few
Yet let them be divine."

- By T.S. Eliot

"Love is our only reason for loving and the only purpose for life.
We live for the sake of love.
We live seeking love.
It is not surprising that we keep looking for love.
All of us are nothing but vibrations of love.
We are sustained by love and in the end we merge back in to love.

This world is nothing but a school of love.
Our relationships with our parents, our children and our husband or wife,
With our friends and relatives,
Are the University in which we are meant to learn
what love and devotion truly are.
Yet the love we experience through other people,
Is just a shadow of the love of the inner self.
There is a sublime place inside us, where love dwells.
The love that pulses in the cave of the heart
Does not depend on anything outside.
It does not expect anything.
It is completely independent."

- By Swami Muktananda

VOWS

Some examples of vows are given below. These can be adapted to reflect your particular promises to each other, or you can create your own entirely. Some couples choose or write their main vows together, but individually prepare a special final line which they share with each other at their ceremony.

"I, .............., take you, ............., to be my wife/husband,
to have and to hold from this day forward
for better or for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish as long as we both shall live."

"I, ..............., take you, ..............., to be my wife/husband.
I vow to accept you, honour you and respect you for the person you are today and who you will be tomorrow.
I will care for you and stand by you in your journey as an individual and in our journey together.
I give all I have with love for all you are to me and everything you have helped me to be.
I love you."

"I, ..................., take you, ...................., to be my wife/husband,
I will love you, cherish you and stand by you always
I will laugh with you in joy, grieve with you in sorrow, grow with you in love and be faithful to you alone,
From this day forward in whatever circumstance or experience life may hold for us."

"I, ..................., take you, ................, to be my wife/husband,
Today I join my life to yours, not just as your husband/wife but as your friend, your lover and your confidant. Let mine be the shoulder you lean on, let me be the rock on which you rest, and the companion of your life".

"I, ......................., take you, ....................., to be my wife/husband,
Today, before our family and friends, I join my life to yours. I promise to love you truly, respect you fairly, listen to you honestly and laugh with you often.
Today I become your partner, for better for worse, your lover, for richer for poorer and your fried always. From today forward, may we walk together, through life's adventures and may you forever feel the depth of my love."

"I, ......................, take you, ................, to be my wife/husband,
I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow and forever.
I will trust you and honour you. I will laugh with you and cry with you.
I will love you faithfully through the best and the worst, through the difficult and the easy.
Whatever may come, I will be there always.
As I have given you my hand to hold, so I give you my life to share."

"I take you ……. as my partner in marriage(husband/wife)
I promise to share my life openly with you
To speak the truth to you
To support and encourage your endeavours
To respect your individuality
And to be your companion in life

As a symbol of these promises I give you this ring"

"I take you (name) to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold
from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for
poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish for the
rest of our lives, according to God's holy law. This is my solemn
vow."
- From the Anglican Book of Alternative Services

" I give myself to you. I love you, trust you, and delight in you. I will share your burdens and your joys. I will go with you wherever God calls us. This is my solemn promise."
- From the new same-sex blessing rite in the Vancouver-area Anglican diocese

FOR THANKSGIVING, WELCOMING AND NAMING CHILDREN

"Nature formed you with perfect feet and hands and a heart that beats non-stop, sometimes for a hundred years. You were made complete.

You have inherited a thousand generations of wisdom, skill, poetry, song, all the sunrises and sunsets of knowledge past. You are the sum of all the people who went before you.

You are a refinery of inherited wealth. Wisdom is stored within you to help you to climb the highest mountain, slay the biggest monster, survive fear and to summon your own courage and take pride in your intelligence. Inside you are more possibilities than you could possibly use up in one lifetime.

If you can dream it, you can do it, because the instinctive knowledge of how to succeed is already programmed within you waiting to be turned on, it is waiting to flow like a river as you come on stream."

- Adapted from A Recipe for Dreaming by Bryce Courtney

A Child Learns What S/He Lives

"If a child lives with criticism,
S/he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
S/he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
S/he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
S/he learns to feel guilt.
But,
If a child lives with tolerance,
S/he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
S/he learns confidence.
If a child lives with fairness,
S/he learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
S/he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
S/he learns to like herself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
S/he learns to find love in the world."

"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you,
For life goes not backwards nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The Archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and he bends you with His might that his arrows may go swift and far.
Let the bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."

- From The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

"A tree that grows beyond your reach
springs from a tiny seed,
A building more than nine storeys high
rises from a handful of earth,
A journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single step".

- Tao de Ching, Bk 2, Ch 64, (6BC)

May All Your Wishes Come True

"May you always do for others
And let others do for you,
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung,
And may you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous,
May you grow up to be true,
May you always know the truth
And see the light surrounding you,
May you always be courageous,
Stand upright and be strong,
And may you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy
And may your feet always be swift,
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of change shift,
May you heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung,
And may you stay forever young."

- Song by Bob Dylan

FUNERALS, PARTINGS and GRIEVING

"When you truly enter into your sadness you come to a precious moment of understanding of the absolute value of the life of one human being. And if you can hold on to the meaning of one life and one death, you will come to the meaning of all existence.

The pearl inside your cavern of grief is this instant of knowing, and after your mourning time, you will remember what you have learned, and never allow a single life to be devalued again."

- From "Safe Passage - Words to Help the Grieving Hold Fast and Let Go", by Molly Fumia

Song
If space and time, as sages say,
Are things that cannot be,
The fly that lives a single day
Has lived as long as we.
But let us live while yet we may,
While love and life are free,
For time is time, and runs away,
Though sages disagree.

The flowers I sent thee when the dew
Was trembling on the vine,
Were withered ere the wild bee flew
To suck the eglantine,
But let us haste to pluck anew
Nor mourn to see them pine,
And though the flowers of life be few
Yet let them be divine."

- By T.S. Eliot

What we call the beginning is often the end
And to make an end is to make a beginning
The end is where we start from. …
The moment of the rose and the moment of the yew-tree
Are of equal duration. A people wotjout history
Is not redeemed from time, for history os a pattern
Of timeless moments. So while the light fails
On a winter afternoon, ijn a secluded chapel
History is now…

… We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the lace for the first time.
Through the unknown, remembered gate
When the last of earth left to discover
Is that which was the beginning;
At the source of the longest river
The voice of the hidden waterfall
And the children in the apple-tree
Not known, because not looked for
But heard, half-heard, in the stillness
Between two waves of the sea.
Quick now, here, now, always -
A condition of complete simplicity
(Costing not less than everything)
And all shall be well and
All manner of thing shall be well
When the tongues of flame are in-folded
Into the crowned knot of fore
And the fire and the rose are one.

- From T.S. Eliot Four Quartets V

HONOURING INDIVIDUALS

"If you give me your Listening
I have a place for my speaking.
I pour myself into your listening.
I give you my words, my worlds, my life.
You home Me
You, through your Listening, give me dwelling.
You give me residence
You - being….
Grants me - being."

By Fernando Flores, philosopher

Anam Cara (Soul Friend)

May you be blessed with good friends
May you learn to be a good friend
May you learn to be a good friend to yourself
May you be able to journey to that place in your soul
Where there is great love, warmth, feeling and forgiveness
May this change you
May it transfigure that which is negative, distant or cold in you
May you be brought into the real passion, kinship and affinity of belonging
May you treasure your friends
May you be good to them
And may you be there for them
May they bring you all the blessings, challenges, truth and light
That you need for your journey
May you never be isolated
May you always be in the gentle nest of belonging
With your anam cara

- a Celtic greeting

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

- By Marianne Williamson

"Acquire the courage to believe in yourself. Many of the things that you have been taught were at one time the radical ideas of individuals who had the courage to believe what their own hearts and minds told them was true, rather than accept the common beliefs of their day."

- By Ching Ning Chu

POEMS and BLESSINGS for Any Occasion

"May the calm be widespread
May the sea glisten like greenstone
May the shimmer of light
Dance before your path

Kia Hora Te Marino
Whakapapa - pounamu
Te Moana, Kia Tere
Te Karohirohi I mua I
Tou huarahi"

- Blessing on the stained glass window, St Mary's in Holy Trinity Cathedral, Auckland, attributed to Queen Victoria Maori Girls' School

May the sun bring you new strength by day;
May the moon softly restore you by night.
May the rain wash away your fears
And the breeze invigorate your being.
May you, all the days of your life,
Walk gently through the world and know its beauty

- From a native American ceremony

May the road rise to meet you,
And the sun stand at your shoulder.
May the wind always be at your back
And the rains fall softly upon your fields.
May life itself befriend you
Each day, each night
Each step of your journey.

May the peace of the spirit be with you
And with your children,
From the day that we have here today
Until the day of the end of your lives

- Celtic Blessing

"Now may the courage of the early morning's dawning,
The strength of eternal hills and wide open fields,
The joy of silent streams and the gentle wind,
The beauty of flowered gardens and the song of birds,
And the faith of youth be in your hearts;
And the love of God,
That alone can build happiness,
That makes family love flourish with the radiance of great joy,
Be with you always.
And the peace of a quiet evening's ending and of the midnight,
Be yours now and forever."

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of our time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

- By Max Ehrmann

Aotearoa Litany
Green of fern refresh us
Feathers of kereru warm us
Rocks of Moeraki encircle us
Waters of Taupo bathe us
Dive of gannet focus us
Arc of rainbow protect us
Stars of Southern Cross guide us

- By Anne Powell

Visit Us
Visit us
in breath of wind
in endurance of cliffs
in glow of kowhai
in silence of stars
in solitude of moon
in eyes of a mother
in pleasure of friends
in faith that does justice.

- By Anne Powell

Star-maps
We are land
we are breathing
cleansed by rain.
We are flax
we are waiting
spellbound by tui.
We are rocks
we are resting
warmed by sun.
We are mountains
we are present
mapped by stars.

- By Anne Powell